To The Boy I’ll Always Love–
There are infinite things that I wish I’d said. Not a day goes by without thoughts of you in my head. And I like to think that it’s never too late to try once again, but I want to say a few things now, in case this is really the end.
I had always imagined that my life would be a fairytale romance with love at first sight, but that wasn’t the way I fell in love with you. It started freshman year in Geometry, when I got stuck sitting next to you.
You were so annoying, and I laugh as I say that now, reminiscing about the way you drew on all my things and teased me… I pretended to get upset with you, but there’s no reason to lie now, so I’ll admit that I enjoyed our banter. Not because I enjoyed being teased–of course–but because I simply loved to see you laugh, even when it meant you were laughing at me. You were so stupid back then, but maybe I was more stupid, because I was falling in love. I never knew it though.
And then came the day when we realized we both loved country music–a sure sign we were meant to be, of course. I thought you were lying to me, but sure enough, your entire playlist looked just like mine. And I fell in love a little more. I still didn’t know it yet.
When you got your heart broken by She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, my heart broke for you. I hated seeing you upset like that. I can admit now, however, that I was the slightest bit relieved that you didn’t end up with her. I didn’t know it at the time, but I know now it’s because I was falling in love with you then, too.
Over the summer, we would horse around with our friends–you didn’t know it, I don’t think, because I never told you like I should have, but you were always my favorite to spend time with. And when you visited me on my birthday, even with everything else going on–when you still made time for me because I wanted you to be there, that was when I realized that I loved you.
I should’ve told you right then and there just how much you meant to me.
I still think about that day.
All the rest of that year, you were the one I turned to when things didn’t go my way. I trusted you like I trusted no one else. To this day, I still refuse to trust anyone else the way I trust you.
That’s when I realized I didn’t just love you, but I had fallen in love with you.
We started dating eventually, and every time I looked at you, every time we locked eyes, I remembered all the reasons why I fell in love–and then I fell in love all over again.
But dear God, we were a force to be reckoned with. The perfect storm, that’s what we were. When I was by your side, I knew I could take on the world and win. Both of us so passionate, we were destined to clash at some point. Fire and ice. I could be so emotional and clingy and annoying. I was mean and vindictive, and dare I say I could even be downright unbearable at times. You could be so short with me, and oh so cold… The world stepped aside when we fought, because it knew we would leave one hell of a warpath. And for no reason other than the love between us, we somehow found our way back to each other after every single storm.
I wouldn’t rather spend the time with anyone else.
Life with you was a life filled with color. Nothing was ever mediocre with you; it was always vibrant to the extreme.
And there is nothing I wouldn’t give to go back to those days. Even after we called it quits, and I tried to move on, no one could ever replace you. No one even came close.
Because you’re the boy I’ll always love.
You’re my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night, and every thought in between.
I wanted to give you the world, so I did just that in the only way I knew. You are the reason why Bane’s eyes are green.
With Much Love,
The Girl Who’ll Never Forget You